SONG WITH NO WORDS

He’d been out on a busy Friday,

Singing that song with no words.

But the going had been as tough as could be,

He’d fallen twice and ricked his knee

And he was glad to get home at all,

Singing that song with no words.

He’d fallen in love with a check-out girl,

Singing that song with no words.

Though she had spots of a generous size

And something strange about one of her eyes,

He’d offered his heart and she’d punched out his lights,

Singing that song with no words.

He’d got in a fight with a hot dog man,

Singing that song with no words.

He’d only said to the fellow in fun

That he thought his hot dogs smelt like dun(g)

And just for that he’d been soundly thrashed,

Singing that song with no words.

He’d been for a boat trip round the bay,

Singing that song with no words.

He’d exposed himself to a party of Czechs

Who were making charts of sunken wrecks

So they’d tossed him off[17] and he’d gone down,[18]

Singing that song with no words.

He’d finally fallen foul of the law,

Singing that song with no words.

He’d shouted abuse at a copper on point

Said he was a fairy and smoking a joint

So he’d been dragged away to the Nick and given a right good truncheoning by several irate constables who’d had a proper day of it chasing up reports of some limping loon who’d been bothering check-out girls, getting into fights with hot dog men and flashing his willy at foreigners.

And enough was enough!

Singing that song with no words.

Amen.